Sun in 17° Sagittarius
Waning Moon in 25° Virgo
7:28am – Woke naturally after a relatively good sleep. Had the TotSS interview last night and a fair amount of nervous excitement around it; much like after a date where it went well, and yet the mind and feelings spin around things one said, things one might have said but didn’t, questions of What did they think?, etc. I had performed a LBRP before the interview, and after just sort of collapsed into a comfort dinner of tortellini and leftover tacquitos, too much, followed by ice cream and hot fudge, with TV and then a movie (Free State of Jones). Once in bed, after the midnight adoration and reading a few pages of Initiation, I felt peaceful, but was awakened as I started to drift by an energy rush and pounding heart that kept me awake for awhile. No dreams recollected.
It sounds like it could be two-three weeks, give or take, before I should expect a response, so I think I’m on my own through the Solstice; one more week until the New Moon in Sag, and then another week until the Solstice. Feels like the time for purification and recalibrating the aim. Perhaps a work of destruction on the New Moon (maybe working with the dream of night before last to “clear the house”), and the planting of the seed in silence, a week of quiet purification, and then celebrating the seed with voice on the Solstice, speaking my Will as I understand it.
Regarding purification, it occurred to me (again) this morning as I woke to a painful body and foggy mind that getting off of the refined sugar might be desirable. Diet might be the physical symbol to facilitate a deeper purification. I will have the boys that week; I must learn how to keep a solid continuum of practice with them present, which among other things probably needs to see a regular bed time (no binge watching with G until late), and kicking J out of the “quiet room” at 9pm until he’s ready for bed (at 5am, haha).
Establish a regular sleep pattern seems key, and also an important practice in this week of tending the seed from New Moon to Solstice. Let’s begin tonight so that we have the routine down by the time the boys arrive. The goal will be perfect consistency for the body in terms of getting into bed and rising.
Rituals of self care seem important: taking the herbs, bathing, hatha yoga and chi gung. The practice will be to take herbs regularly at the same time, to bathe daily at the same time (before evening practice?), and to exercise the body daily. This too will be a challenge with the boys, and yet other than noise, occasional appeals for assistance, and a bit less free space, they really do not interfere. The challenge is mine, to martial my will to sufficient degree to set these patterns. They will be important for sustaining the Work.
I think the above represents significant work in the Earth element, quite appropriate in the context of 1=10 and the quiet work of Winter. On that last point, let us spend regular time in silence. 30 minutes, morning and evening is very doable, although it seems like a stretch. The stretch is again one of will, and so feels important at this juncture. The fire in the earth.
Let me work out the kinks then between now and Friday, so that I’m able to persist in these simple practices when the boys arrive, and am set up for success.
9:25am – LBRP, MP, 30 min M
Note to conserve sexual energy during the week of purification as well.